Sunday, 27 November 2011

Sage Advice For Wannabe Shahids

... 72 Virgins May Be Your Punishment, Not Reward!


Let’s just say that the controversial 72 virgins reward wasn’t mistranslated, misinterpreted or otherwise misunderstood. Let’s also overlook the implications that a young woman’s virginity should simply be rewarded to others.
What about females? What reward do they get? Yeah, overlook that one too.
To the sex-driven young male contemplating Jihad, at first, it seems pretty awesome. It looks like this.
Decisions, decisions…
It’s inescapable that the sheer number of virgins means a few things:
  • having sex with the women is to be expected
  • having sex with the women for the first time is the best
  • after a while having sex with the same one gets old / boring
  • one could ‘take the virginity from a virgin’ in the afterlife
Otherwise, it’s pointless to have so many specifically virgin women.
But here’s the logical problem: eternity is a long time.
You would ‘run out of virgins’ in just 72 days. That’s probably a conservative estimate for a teenage male.

Take my wives, please!

So what’s next after the first couple months of virgins? Infinity years of no sex with virgins.
And 72 girls that are probably sick of you too. Imagine infinity years of that conversation.
Remember, a reward for Jihad is lots of sex with virgins. 2 months is just not ‘lots’ when compared to forever. So the moral of the story is: don’t do Jihad. I think.

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